{Daydream Believer}

If it wasn't completely obvious from the title, this story is all about our first dance - together. It was Homecoming time and I quickly learned that one benefit of having a steady boyfriend was that it almost completely guaranteed you'd have a date to the dance.

Again, nothing is written in my journal about the day - but due to my scrapbooking, there are parts of the day that did get recorded.

I do remember that Stacy and I went to a lady's house in the neighborhood. She was a cosmotologist and Stacy regularly babysat for her. She did both our hair and then we went home to do whatever we needed to do that Saturday before the dance.

The rest is what I wrote down in my scrapbook.

Daydream Believer - October 1996

Date - October 1996

Theme - "Daydream Believer"

The Guy - Eric

The Group - Russ & Stacy

Eric & Me

Where We Went to Eat - Frontier Pies

What I Had To Eat - Ham, Scrambled Eggs and Hashbrowns

Activities - We went to dinner, then to the dance and then to Red's for ice cream.

Interesting Thing That Happened - I didn't know when the guys were coming to pick us up, so I didn't have any makeup on.

There's a bit more to the story about not having makeup on. Stacy knew what time the boys were planning to pick us up, but she had forgotten to tell me. By the time they arrived (I had been napping), they already had to wait for me to get into my dress and I didn't want to make them wait longer while I did my makeup.

Then it came time to put the boutonniere. Because it was my first semi-formal dance, I was super nervous. I didn't know what I was doing and I was afraid of poking Eric with the pin. Plus, there was something about being that close to him with my mom and friends watching. If I remember right, my mom had to help me get the stupid thing on Eric because of my nerves.

...See, super awkward...

...Everything is where it should be and more importantly no one shed any blood...

No, I don't know what is up with the photos. I fixed them up as best I could. Guess my mom's camera decided to have a crappy day that day. Thankfully we have the awesome posed photos from the day.

And such was our first dance date. We really did have a good time, but I felt self-conscious most of the night because of the lack of makeup. Guess Eric learned early on to look beyond the outside. HAHAHAHA!

{Haunted}

So this is an interesting post. Had I not written about it in my journal, I wouldn't have even remembered it. Even reading about it I don't remember a lot about it. Funny how time does that.

September 26, 1996

"Anywayz, yesterday me and Stacy + Russ + Eric went to the Haunted Woods. It was so dumb. It was more like a play and not at all like a haunted house. It was fun though. Eric kept scaring Stacy and it was funny to watch her. Eric also kept volunteering me for everything. It was a fun time."

I love that I contradicted myself in that statement.

...I love that I kept this ticket, if for nothing else - just to see the admission price...

We haven't really been to a haunted house in years. I guess Eric thought it was worth the price of admission when we were dating, but not when we're married. And actually he made a good point a few years back when we talked about it.

He said that fear is one of the worst emotions we feel and yet we pay to experience that exact emotion. It logically makes no sense.

{It's Official}

Yet another story that should've been recorded somewhere, yet wasn't. It seems to me like this could've quite possibly been during the same phone conversation as mentioned in Measure Of A Boy. If it wasn't it happened a short time later.

Edited to add: Due to an entry later on in my journal I now know the date this happened.

August 28, 1996

We were having yet another phone conversation, fairly late at night. I don't even remember what our conversation was about. However, in the course of our conversation the following took place:

ERIC SAYS SOMETHING...
SHILO: Why?
ERIC: Because you're my girl.
SHILO: Says you.
ERIC: Well, unless you don't want to be.

I realize my response wasn't the best of responses. But, I was kind of taken by surprise when Eric dropped those words! He had spent a lot of time convincing me (and probably trying to convince himself) that we weren't going to be a couple and we didn't need to have a relationship. But somewhere along the way, he fell and he fell hard!

I loved the way he phrased his words. It sounded so old school and something the good guys would say in the good ol' days. I was and will always be a sucker for chivalry.

I of course really had no complaints and I was thrilled that we were now 'going out'. I slept really good that night with plenty of butterflies flying around in my stomach!

SOURCE

{The Talk}

Don't get too excited. This wasn't necessarily a 'BIG' talk or anything, just one that happened. And truth be told - it may have happened before the previous post, but I kind of forgot. It's bound to happen after 17 years.

And once again, this story made no appearance in my journal.

I'll be the first to admit that I was always a little boy crazy. And while I really liked Eric and wanted to pursue a relationship, I also had at least 3 other guys on my mind. (Yes, Eric knew this) Because of this I wanted to know what Eric was thinking, or I guess feeling is the more accurate word.

Now if you know me, you know I've always been a bit shy and saying what's on my mind doesn't come easily. (At least when I'm talking person to person) So for this story to happen, it took guts.

One summer night after hanging out with Russ and Stacy, I told Eric we needed to talk. And of course, everyone thinks about a million different things when someone says that to you.

It was definitely difficult for me to bring up and I'm sure I sounded like a complete idiot. But the gist of it was that I wanted to know where our 'relationship' was going, and where I 'stood' in his eyes.

Being the honest guy that he is, he replied with, "Right now, no one stands anywhere."

SOURCE

Eric was just enjoying his time and wasn't necessarily interested in a relationship. He wasn't in any sort of hurry to rush into a relationship or be serious about any girl. I was the one in a hurry and for whatever reason felt we needed some sort of definition for what we were doing.

I left that conversation feeling like a fool and not sure what to think. In a way I was relieved that Eric didn't want to be serious, but I also felt that if that was the case - I was wasting my time hanging out with him.

I think we both kind of decided to just see where things went and go from there. It killed me, but at least it gave me a reason to not feel guilty going out with the other guys I liked.

{Measure Of A 'Boy'}

This story is one that has stuck with me since the day it happened and quite honestly, it'll probably still be with me when I die. I can't believe that with the impact this story had on me, I didn't write it down in my journal. But such is life. At least the story will be told somewhere other than my head now.

So the 4 of us (Russ, Stacy, Eric and me) spent a lot of time together that summer. One night we were at Stacy's hanging out. We had ordered pizza and were watching tv. I can't even remember if we were watching something specific or if we just had the tv on.

Before long a commercial came on for the zoo (I think, it may have been for the fair...). The first image it showed was of an ape. I kind of jokingly said, "Hey look, it's Eric." We all got a chuckle out of it. A few seconds later the image was of a pig (maybe it was a cow now that I'm typing it out) and Eric said, "And there's Shilo."

The laughter wasn't the same.

We were all kind of quiet after that. A bit later it was time for the boys to go home, so they headed out. Stacy and I stayed and talked about the situation with her older sister (who was with us the whole time) and we all kind of agreed it was a low blow.

I had a lot of thoughts running through my head after it happened. Things like, "Eric's a jerk." "I can't believe he just called me a cow/pig." "Did he really just make fun of me?" "He must not like me."

Adding fuel to the fire was everything that Stacy and her sister had said. I can't remember what exactly, but they really weren't nice things about Eric and more towards the point of not going out with him again.

I was super self-concious at the time and because it was said while I was eating, I was really quite embarrassed. I went home in really low spirits.

Later that night I got a phone call. 

It was Eric.

I think the first words out of his mouth were something like, "I need to apologize."

WOAH! Wait a second. Did I really just hear what I thought I heard? I was overwhelmed.

I think we spent the first 5 minutes of that conversation arguing whether or not Stacy or Russ had called him and told him to apologize. Eric had to defend his side and actions and wanted me to know that no one had to tell him I was upset and that he should apologize. (He really is good at reading between the lines)

I really appreciated his gesture. He didn't realize when he said what he said, how it would affect me - but he clearly knew he took things a bit too far after the words had left his lips.

I realized right then that Eric was a pretty stand-up guy. Not only did he apologize - he did it on his own THAT night. He didn't let it go longer than necessary and wanted to ease my pain.

That is still true of his actions today. He is quick to apologize when he realizes he's hurt me. Very rarely does he point out my wrong doings (and yes, I do realize that I hurt his feelings a bit too that night), and all he wants is to make things right. It's not always an easy task for him and it's not always over as quickly as we'd like, but it has always made our relationship stronger and more honest. 

It is one quality of Eric's that I absolutely love. (Okay, it's actually a quality I have a love/hate relationship with)

{Movie Night}

Sometimes you look back on things and realize there's a lot you missed and a lot you overlook in a person when you're head over heels about them. One such thing for us, that has almost ALWAYS been the case is Eric's taste in movies.

I'm not saying we never agree on movies, but there is A LOT of give and take that goes on. We have to give each other the benefit of the doubt and see movies that the other one wants to see. Sometimes we've found that we actually enjoyed the movie the other person chose and sometimes, we figure out that we do "crazy things when (we're) in love."

Journal Entry made Monday, August 26. 1996

"Anywayz after work I came home and called Stacy. She came up because we were going to do something with the guys. (Russ and Eric) Stacy called them, but neither one was home so we went outside and sat for awhile.

Then just before I came in for dinner, Russ called. About a half hour later me and Stacy went up to Eric's where we watched Happy Gilmore. It was an okay show, but I didn't really like it.

Halfway through the movie, me and Eric held hands. Even after the movie was over he was still holding my hand and his other hand was resting on my leg. I was happy.

When we finally told Eric we needed to go home, he drove us to my house. The we got out and started hugging. Then we started kissing. After that we just hugged for a little while longer when Eric said, "Well we better get Russ home," so they left."

Yes, I totally spelled 'anyways' wrong. For some reason when I was in high school it was cool to replace some 's' letters at the end of words with a 'z'. Don't ask me what that was all about. Also, I should mention that Eric was the only one of us that had his own vehicle, so he often played the part of chauffeur.

Yes, I still think Happy Gilmore is just okay. The best part of that movie has always been and will always be when Bob Barker knocks the crap out of Adam Sandler. (Yes, Sandler makes a huge comeback, but it's funny none the less.)

{It's A Date!}

So it only took the boy a month and a half to decide that a real date was in order.

Journal entry Thursday August 1, 1996

"I went to work then came home and got ready to go to a movie with Stacy, Russ and Eric. A DATE!!!

We went and saw Independence Day, a movie I didn't want to see, but I'm glad I did see it. It was cool! Halfway through the movie me and Eric help hands. To say the least I (was) happy.

After the movie we went to Arctic Circle, supposedly to get shakes. Stacy was the only one to get a shake and I got a drink. Eric and Russ didn't get anything, so Stacy wouldn't eat it.

We then went to my house and layed on the grass looking up at the stars. (My family was at my Grandma's house). We were probably looking at the stars for about a 1/2 hour.

We then went for a walk around the neighborhood. Me and Eric held hand again. Eric talked to me a lot and so we were having our own conversation.

After the walk the guys decided they better go home so we stayed by Eric's car for awhile. When they finally decided to go home Russ gave Stacy a hug and then Eric gave me one. I was happy. Eric even said he'd call me tomorrow, so I hope he does. I think he might like me. I can only hope. I'm starting to change my mind about not having a boyfriend. I think if Eric ever asked me out, I'd say yes."

Oh the fun of being a teenager. At least the date ended on a high note.