Tuesday, November 18, 2014

{Measure Of A 'Boy'}

This story is one that has stuck with me since the day it happened and quite honestly, it'll probably still be with me when I die. I can't believe that with the impact this story had on me, I didn't write it down in my journal. But such is life. At least the story will be told somewhere other than my head now.

So the 4 of us (Russ, Stacy, Eric and me) spent a lot of time together that summer. One night we were at Stacy's hanging out. We had ordered pizza and were watching tv. I can't even remember if we were watching something specific or if we just had the tv on.

Before long a commercial came on for the zoo (I think, it may have been for the fair...). The first image it showed was of an ape. I kind of jokingly said, "Hey look, it's Eric." We all got a chuckle out of it. A few seconds later the image was of a pig (maybe it was a cow now that I'm typing it out) and Eric said, "And there's Shilo."

The laughter wasn't the same.


We were all kind of quiet after that. A bit later it was time for the boys to go home, so they headed out. Stacy and I stayed and talked about the situation with her older sister (who was with us the whole time) and we all kind of agreed it was a low blow.

I had a lot of thoughts running through my head after it happened. Things like, "Eric's a jerk." "I can't believe he just called me a cow/pig." "Did he really just make fun of me?" "He must not like me."

Adding fuel to the fire was everything that Stacy and her sister had said. I can't remember what exactly, but they really weren't nice things about Eric and more towards the point of not going out with him again.

I was super self-concious at the time and because it was said while I was eating, I was really quite embarrassed. I went home in really low spirits.

Later that night I got a phone call. 

It was Eric.

I think the first words out of his mouth were something like, "I need to apologize."

WOAH! Wait a second. Did I really just hear what I thought I heard? I was overwhelmed.

I think we spent the first 5 minutes of that conversation arguing whether or not Stacy or Russ had called him and told him to apologize. Eric had to defend his side and actions and wanted me to know that no one had to tell him I was upset and that he should apologize. (He really is good at reading between the lines)

I really appreciated his gesture. He didn't realize when he said what he said, how it would affect me - but he clearly knew he took things a bit too far after the words had left his lips.

I realized right then that Eric was a pretty stand-up guy. Not only did he apologize - he did it on his own THAT night. He didn't let it go longer than necessary and wanted to ease my pain.


That is still true of his actions today. He is quick to apologize when he realizes he's hurt me. Very rarely does he point out my wrong doings (and yes, I do realize that I hurt his feelings a bit too that night), and all he wants is to make things right. It's not always an easy task for him and it's not always over as quickly as we'd like, but it has always made our relationship stronger and more honest. 

It is one quality of Eric's that I absolutely love. (Okay, it's actually a quality I have a love/hate relationship with)

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